Well, this week’s motto has been Realizing Things.
*I hate that I’m using that social media reference but it seems to be the only one that fits. Don’t worry if you don’t know what I’m talking about… it’s not worth knowing. *
It’s been jam packed with odd and unexpected revelations of truth about little things in life. I won’t get into to all of it because the situations themselves aren’t as important as the understanding and corresponding feelings.
Being in your twenties is a transitional time of life by nature. Few things (I can’t even really think of one thing) are constant and fixed. Even the things that may stick around the whole time evolve drastically to keep in step with you because you, darling, are never the same person you were an hour ago.
I’d like to think I’m riding these waves more gracefully than I did before: learning which things to fight for and which to let go; which things to mold to my will and which things to let mold me; which struggles to fight and which to endure, etc. Throughout, I’ve always loved little quips and quotes, but they’re beginning to hold more weight. Beginning to become tools to help me build rather than trinkets to give out in simple-minded generosity.
I hope this is not taken as being selfish, because it’s one of the truest things I’ve come across thus far:Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.
My everchanging relationship with an unchanging God, my goals, my desires, my relationships, my boundaries, my personal convictions; none of those are born healthy from and unhealthy me. Yes, they can all exist for a long time, but it’s not their longevity that signals effectiveness, it’s quality.
Sometimes the right choice brings about unwanted outcomes. Sometimes you’re the ‘good’ friend or companion and you’re still not appreciated. Sometimes you give it your all and you still fall short. Sometimes “that’s just the way it is” is just the way it is.
That’s not apathetic or close-minded; it’s truth and it’s freedom. It’s freedom from being endlessly disappointed because of unrealistic expectations. It’s freedom from being bound to a precise set of actions under the assumption that they will always produce the same results. It’s freedom from blaming the world for working in the way it always has. It’s freedom to properly understand your power and it’s limits (yes, there are limits) and with that knowledge you’re able to wield that power mightily.
This is a focus. Instead of throwing hundreds seeds everywhere and being upset that only some grow, you plant a few dozen seeds in healthy soil and you work through the whole process.