I’ve got this handful of balloons and this journey of mine to travel

I’ve been known to keep hold even when the strings start to unravel

People would come and admire my stability in the midst of disarray

How I held tight to my balloons when others’ would float away

I’d regularly feel the pressure as much as I’d feel the pride

Without even trying, I’d somehow become someone else’s guide

And yes, in it I found purpose, even when I despised it

When I got lost with the group, I’d try to disguise it

But now I’m in this wilderness that’s much different than the rest

It’s not my steps forward, but my grip that’s facing the test

It seems my grasp on the balloons I’ve had since the beginning isn’t as strong

I’m losing my pillars and questioning if the reputation I made for myself is wrong

You gain some and you lose some as you go

But there are a few balloons whose dependability and loyalty you’ve come to know

But what do you do when those suddenly become out of reach?

When you find out you were dependent on the familiarity of each

You realized that you weren’t grounding them, but they were pulling you up

And as your sense of strength, you never even considered having a back up

Well I’ll tell you because I nearly destroyed myself chasing balloons

Ignoring the prompting to change my tune

To let them go because I’ve let them become my identity

When their only purpose was to accompany me

You see, this stretch has been trying with my hands empty and my sense of self fading

But as that mirage disappears, something else shows itself pervading

It’s not that my grip failed, but by God’s doing, my balloons were set free

Because he’d rather start over than let them distort his image of me

I’m still lost, itching to have those balloons of comfort back in my care

But I can also acknowledge that my desire for meaning cannot be found there

On this journey, the balloons in my care will steadily change around

But they are the adjectives that will evolve, while I remain the noun

My God, my God, this is some lesson I’m learning

But as my surrounding change and you remain constant, I’ll be more discerning

 

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