I’ve typed and deleted my words so many times because no matter what I said, the words just didn’t really capture what I’m feeling.  So, instead of trying of assuming it’s my ‘duty’ to write about this because I’m African-American in the USA, I decided just to be honest. That means this will be a mess of words strewn together, no grace or flair necessary.

I’m hurt.

I’m confused.

I’m upset that I’m not shocked.

I’m not angry, there’s no room for that.

I’m impressed by the solidarity that this has created.

I’m saddened that someone (a human being, not just a black man) had to die to usher it in.

I shouldn’t be nervous to address this because I fear that people might think I’m “angry”. I should be bothered that I feel more comfortable keeping my mouth shut in order to keep the peace in my little slice of life.

I should expect more from myself than to be agreeable and non-threatening because it’s obvious that despite my character, I’ll always be a threat.  And I should live as such. Because I will strive to be a threat.  A threat to every single person who believes all Black people are the same, that all women are the same, that all Christians are the same, that all Americans all the same.  

I’m proud to be what I am, because I was created this way on purpose. I wear many hats and although some are hard to weather sometimes, I am proud.

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