Today I struggle with living. Not the battle of choosing between death and life, but actual living.
So easily I get lost in my head and forget that it’s unhealthy to not poke around in the real world now and again.
That though reality is often hard to face, it’s the truth. It is what it is and I’m in what it is.
I find a comfy corner of my mind and curl up with the intention of a temporary retreat.
What I intend to be a few hours stay in the company of creativity and solace, turns into an eternity of delusion and disconnect.
A place that if not monitored, time will leave me behind and I’m left with the feelings that are good company, but hold me captive.
What feels so good, avoiding the inconvenient, slowly and painlessly sabotages the only time I have to claim as mine.
If I don’t get out, in the end, all I’ll have are sweet memories of things that never happened and a treacherous understanding that I chose to never matter at all.