This is one of the very very few songs that I can listen to without turning onto a ball of goo.  It’s so intense even if you’re not giving it your full attention.  If you decide to give it your all, beware! It can be very overwhelming to allow yourself to just sink all the way down into the hole with all the things you try to ignore.  This song makes me do it every. single. time. But anyway, it inspired these thoughts:

School just started for my mom and my sister.  Now every morning I’ll hear the garage door go up as my sister makes her way to school.  Not once will I question whether I’ll see her car in the driveway when I come home.  Every night I’ll assume my mom is up in bed resting for tomorrow. Not once will I wonder if she’s going to make it home another night.  I hear my dad’s voice on the other end of the phone.  The thought to really listen because it may be the last time never crosses my mind.

Yet, today every single time they take a breath, it’s more likely to be their last, maybe from natural causes, maybe from uncontrollable misfortune, maybe at the hand of another human.  No day is the same.  Everyday I pick my head up, everyday you lay your head down… What makes me think there is no end.

It’s not about being scared or paranoid, it’s about being appreciative and aware.  No one can hold on to life so tight as to squeeze a single second that wasn’t already in their future.  Don’t believe that it hasn’t always been this way.  Since the beginning, people have died young, unexpectedly, unjustly.  Things are different but they’re still the same.

No picket sign, no petition, no raise, no ring, no promise, no politician is going to change that this isn’t the last stop. We’re at a layover.  We complain about the scenery, but I don’t see everybody rushing to get on the train to the end stop.  You can’t borrow time, because there’s no way of paying it back, my love.  Haven’t you heard? We’re in a recession.  You got what you have and that’s not even guaranteed.

I’m not mad at the world.  It didn’t break any promises, or trick me into anything.  As the world is thousands of years old, we are the Youth with mor knowledge than we need and lacking the wisdom we claim.  How easy it is for me to point out the problem thinking that I’ve done my part.  Some stuff is not supposed to roll off our shoulders because we just end up slumped under the weight of the world.