Ever looked in the mirror in your own eyes? Not glancing over yourself to look for imperfections like you do during your morning rituals, but really looking to see what other people see. It’s weird. When I look hard and really examine what’s staring back at me, it’s a bit unrecognizable. Not because I don’t know her, but because I know her too well to see her for just her outsides.
When I think of Simone, I think of everything I feel, I think, I create, I love. I don’t think of the shape of my eyes, or the curve of my jaw, the roundness of my nose, or the fatness in my cheeks. When I think of me, I think of what makes me laugh, memories, my future, dreams, wishes, pet peeves… So what’s the point of this ramble, you say?
After really taking the time to soak in all the amazing-ness in the link on my last post (https://monniiee.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/never-give-up/) I made it a goal to try to really enjoy everything that is so ‘normal’ to me. To actually treat the people I come in contact with like people who actually have a life of their own instead of just playing a minimal role in my own. To experience the day as an original instead of “same …, different day”. I think everything stays the same when we stay the same. If you’re growing each chance you get, then the results you got from yesterday shouldn’t match today’s outcome.
I never want to come off as this self-actualized person who seems to know how to live life to its fullest because I have no clue. I never want to make it seem like I know what it takes to have the perfect relationship and I don’t even believe I’ve ever truly been in love. What I do want to make clear is that I’m actively trying. I’m not taking each day as it comes, I’m making each day as I want it. Some things are out of my control, but what is under my jurisdiction, I master that thing. I had a very “average” childhood as far as situations go, that’s not to say it was a boring life (it was somethin!!!), but there was nothing supernatural that made me different from anyone else. I still grew up in a time where everything that’s supposed to be pure is tainted beyond recognition.
But for my own sanity and maybe that of others, I made a very serious promise to myself that I would do what I could do and what I had to to make this life I was given something to be proud of. It may not look like much to others who have their own agendas, and that’s fine because it’s my life. I’m living the best way I know how, trial and error. For everyone who thinks I’m floating up in the clouds and will hit the ground one day: …….. I have nothing to say, I’m too busy proving myself right which is way more important than proving you wrong.
God has been waaaay more than good to me, I pray he makes my blessings look like chump change when it comes to your life. I really do