I’ve already made it clear that I think people (I specifically spoke about black women) are more beautiful that many have been lead to believe. As a group, humanity has quite a few despicable flaws that stand out, so you don’t really get to appreciate the appeal of being human until you look at us as individuals. BUT something important to remember about how we see ourselves is the difference between loving yourself and idolizing yourself. You’re beautiful, not perfect. I think in our nature we tend to head toward extremes. We obsess or ignore, protect or kill, give or take; it’s all or nothing with us. We suck at balance and in this case, we either (pretend to) adore every fiber of our own being or always think there’s something missing. Some people have learned how to find the stability of riding the fence, but not enough to counteract the rest of us swaying on the tightrope. Anyway, a little off topic.
I love to see someone who knows they are invaluable. However, it’s quite disheartening to see people trying to tally up their utility based on the ever-changing list of desirability that’s metaphorically passed out to us every day. (I’m really proud of that last sentence, by the way) I mean really?! Every time you gain a point you lose one because you have to give up something to make space for something else. “No free lunch” as they say, you know. I guess that’s OK depending on what you’re giving up. You lose you individuality, but gain popularity. You lose your passion, but your gain your status. You lose your soul, but you gain the world…
You can tell the true virtue and quality of a person by how they treat others because it’s a reflection of how you see yourself. What I’m trying to get at is that your interaction with another person is not related to who they are or what they do, but to who you are. Everywhere you go and everything you do should not be a battle to prove yourself. Don’t you get tired of squaring up? If you’re really as “bad” you think you are, someone else being “bad” doesn’t affect your effect. However, these are the people who find comfort walking in the dark because that’s the only time others will see their light.
Why is it a competition? What are you trying to win? A title? OK then, let’s break that down. In order for you to be the best or rank at the top of any list, there has to be someone else competing for the same goal. Check! You can find plenty of people out there trying to claw their way to the top. Next, in order to be considered for this oh-so prestigious title there has to be some type of standard you have to surpass, right? OK so those are: most voluptuous booty, largest cup size, biggest smile, brightest teeth, best GPA, most degrees, most admirers, biggest vocabulary, best muscles, most prestigious job… did we get them all? Probably not. OK, so let’s say you got them ALL check off your list, now what? Oh yeah, you get a sash, a crown and a victory dance, and then? What do you have to show for a life like that except that you’re shallow and that you’re dependent on others’ approval? YES! I WANT THAT LIFE… *sarcasm at its best*
Somewhere down the line we started asking the world for a price check. I know I’m worth so much and because I know this, I’m not going on sale. No Discounts! Why mark down my value when someone is willing to pay full price? How do I know this? Because I’m a collector’s item; one of a kind; limited edition! An average buyer may not appreciate my value and may mistreat me, but a collector knows my worth and treats me accordingly. Don’t lower that value by letting someone damage you before you even get out of the store.
Afraid you’re never going to be purchased? Alright then, let’s look at this life as more of an auction rather than a Wal-mart. You can go into Wal-mart and buy anything at a pretty good price and while you may be able to find what you’re looking for at the time, the quality won’t be stellar and you’ll always be going back. Looking for variety? Wal-mart. Now, if you know exactly you want, you find it, you don’t browse around. Chances are if it’s really important to you, you’ll pay top dollar for it. Auction, even if it is eBay. Make them bid for you, baby.